As of writing this post I'm down to 15 stone 9 pounds and it has recently dawned on me that I'm drawing close to the point where I will need to increase my calorie intake and this has got me thinking about the future...post being morbidity obese.
The thing that worries me most is the increase of calories and the types of food that I will be eating, I've made a concious decision that I will not eat sweets, chocolate, biscuits, cakes etc. anymore as I seem to have self control issues around these food items and I am genuinely scared of what the repercussions may be if I start to eat them again, well at least in the short term. I plan to carry on with the tactic of eating sweet desserts after a meal out and sharing it with my partner.
So the tactics I've come up with are to eat pretty much what I'm having now but just replace the low calorie options with the "normal ones" so salad will become pasta salads with mayonnaise, healthy option microwave meals will become whatever type takes my fancy, low calories crisps will become regular crisps, but I'm going to keep to the no more than one bag of crisps a day rule. Another option is increasing portion sizes and reintroducing noodles or rice to stir fries!
If this all goes to plan I should be eating much in the same way as in the diet phase of my lifestyle change but having the right amount of calories so that I can maintain my weight rather than continue to loose it or the worst case scenario - putting it back on again.
Fortunately MyFitnessPal comes to the rescue here with it's maintain current weight option, I've checked what I'll need to be eating and it's over the average male calorie intake of 2500 a day and this is giving me some food for thought as it is now becoming apparent that my relationship with food has changed.
When I started my change of lifestyle I mentally reprogrammed myself in regard to how I look at food, I used to see food as a pleasure, something I enjoyed and it was there to be enjoyed with no questions asked but now I've come to view my everyday meals as fuel, it's what I need to function much like a car needs petrol, the food that is for enjoying are the meals that either my partner or I cook for each other or when we go out for a meal and this attitude has paid dividends as I no longer just eat for the sake of it like I used to, I eat because I'm hungry and I've found that I am "listening" to what my body is telling me rather than just automatically eating "because it's there". Before this change I could have food in the cupboard or fridge and it would be almost literally calling my name, in the back of my mind I knew that the food was there, I knew it was nice and my mind wouldn't settle until I'd eaten it but now I can happily have things stored for days on end with no problems at all.
This is where the fear starts to creep in, I worry about the future, about whether I will be able to keep the weight off and if my relationship with food will just lapse back into the old ways; granted having these worries is a sign that I have an awareness of the situation and I'll most likely analyse what I'm eating more than I did before but the big question is....will I ever be able to break free from using the MyFitnessPal app? Only time will tell and I will continue to tell you what happens via this blog.
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